Out with the old, and in with the new! We have two things to celebrate today. Firstly, last year’s columnist Will Mendenhall has been succeeded by a more charming duo, Will and Will, and secondly, that the Class of 2015 has taken over the school. That means that we’re finally given the opportunity to rock the senior deck and continue the traditions of camo, “senioritis”, and, of course, the senior polls.
The senior polls offer the class of 2015 a chance to award fellow classmates for what they’re best known for or to predict who they’ll eventually turn out to be. The two people we choose as the “couple we’d like to see” could very well turn out to be a majestic couple, possibly the next Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady. However, there is the very minute possibility that our prophecies could be a little off. Tom Brady was voted “biggest geek” at Serra High School, aaaaaaaand 19 years later he’s a super bowl MVP and even more importantly, married to a brazilian supermodel with a multi-million dollar house. So you could say that voting him for biggest geek was a poor prediction. Thankfully, in our first column we won’t be predicting the senior polls! Rather, we’ll be suggest a few new ones and maybe, just maybe get a few of these interesting categories pushed into the senior polls for the Class of 2016, (but probably not).
Most likely to go to jail:
Our first suggestion goes out to the people that you have to think twice about. Maybe you’ve seen them doing sketchy things, or maybe they just flat out scare you. Whether they’re already on the path to becoming a notorious felon or they just look like a future felon because of their unique clothing style or interesting personality, it’s your duty to vote for them!
Most likely to live with their mom:
This person might currently be one of the most popular people in the entire school, but in 10, maybe 15 years if they’re a late bloomer they’ll be quite the opposite. In fact, this award goes out to the individual who never grew out of his adolescent habits. They will probably be living alone in their parents basement reminiscing on their glory days of high school … try not to be this person.
The next Oprah Winfrey:
Whoever comes to mind when you think of the smooth talker, the counsellor, the friend you go to in a time of crisis; yeah, that’s the future Oprah Winfrey you’re looking at. We’d say this is a prestigious honor … I mean you’re projected to be the next Oprah frickin’ Winfrey. You’ll be a celeb with cred, and even better, you’ll own your own television network in your name.
At the end of every year there’s always that person who makes you think to yourself, “Wow! How did they get into Stanford or Harvard?” When you’re talking to them they don’t seem smart in any way or form, but they actually do well in their classes and are slightly intelligent These people most likely do not have what we call street smarts, but they are secretly book smart and the type of people who’ll shock you at your reunions with their deep pockets.
This is the person who always looks at you with a funny face. Whether you’re eating lunch with friends or studying alone, they’ll give you a weird look from across the room. Most of the time you probably don’t know why they’re looking at you, but deep down you know you are being judged.