SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21ST, 2019

This article is a piece of satire.

He and Ayesha appear to be the perfect couple. They cook together, they dance together, they take care of and love their child together, but Wardell Stephen Curry does not love her like he loves me.

We have suppressed our relationship for far too long, and my love can no longer be contained. It is time for our secret relationship to be announced to the world.
I met Wardell at his first ever NBA game. It was Wednesday, Oct. 28, 2009 against the Houston Rockets. He played well, with 14 points and seven assists, but the Warriors lost by one point.
After the game, despite the loss, Steph was feeling good when my friends, who were part owners of the team, introduced us to each other. We hit it off immediately and have been in love ever since.

Our relationship is difficult, as he must constantly travel for work and spend time with his “family” but I know he cares about me, so we treasure the time we have together even more. It has been demoralizing being his dirty little secret, but I am glad we finally decided to share our relationship together with the world.
When he plays, as many fans have noticed, he has a celebration after each made basket. He taps his chest twice with a fist and then points up to the sky. He has been asked about the significance of this and explained it as his “heart for God,” with his mother Sonya as his inspiration. This is a blatant lie. Steph and I were together one day when he decided he wanted to give his heart to me, so every time he celebrates, he is pointing to me.

He is perfect. Everything about him makes me more in love with him every day. His shot is like a masterpiece of fine art that has been worked on for decades by artists who have refined their crafts during their whole lives. Just watching him play gets me going. I admire his dedication and drive when it comes to the things he loves.
After the team won game one of the Western Conference Finals on Monday night, Steph brought his daughter Riley to the post-game press conference, but later that night he told me he wished I could have been there by his side in such a proud moment of his life and he could have shown me off to all the press as opposed to his bratty little daughter. (she is actually adorable and I love her).

As Steph and I take this step in our relationship, admitting to the world that we are gay for one another, he becomes the first superstar athlete to ever be openly gay in a major american sports league. This will benefit all of the gay community because Steph and I will surpass Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka as the most admired gay couple.
Soon enough our marriage will happen and we will be the talk of the town, being the happiest married couple ever. When we look back at our time together on our 100th anniversary, we will be glad to have opened our secret up to the public.
With this transition, I hope to feel the love and support from all my peers and the basketball community and I am so relieved that we will finally be able to express our true emotions.

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