December’s Top Five List

Top Five Ways To Cope With Getting Accepted Into College

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5) Cover the “Rejection wall” with your acceptance letters.

4) Power a personalized hydropower system using your classmates’ tears.

3) Leave an empty box of donuts outside a friend’s house with a sweet, pitiful note.

2) Shop with your friends’ money. You need to save up for tuition.

1) When your friend is crying, calmly say, “At least you didn’t get into ____ college, like I did.” Smile.