SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24TH, 2020

If you’re 14 years old or older, you’re of legal working age! Take this quiz to find out what you can do to be a productive member of society! (No prior experience required).

1. What do you like to do on a Saturday night?

A. Make hot chocolate for you and your friends as you sit by the fire with soft pop music playing the in the background

B. Do homework with friends

C. Tear up the town

D. Ask people what they like to do on Saturday nights

E. Work on your latest Artificial Intelligence coding project while simultaneously developing a new iOS App and building a computer

2. It’s your friend’s birthday so you gift them…

A. A cute coffee mug and a gift card to their favorite coffee shop

B. Your old TI-89, they’re gonna need it for indefinite integrals in AP Calculus BC, which you took sophomore year

C. Something you know that they won’t use. For example, did they just upgrade to the iPhone 7? Get them an iPhone 4 case!

D. A gift (gottem!)

E. Something you made with with either a 3D printer or laser cutter

3. The teacher assigns you a group lab write-up. You’re the person who…

A. Does your share and offers to help others

B. Finishes the whole lab perfectly

C. Says you’ll do the purpose and materials, (which are already the easiest portion of the write-up) but then flake and go offline until the project is turned in

D. This quiz sucks

E. Does the Data and Error Analysis because you like to analyze data and debug in your free time anyways

Mostly A’s: Barista! You are a very kind soul that would fit in perfectly at a coffee shop! Your hard work and great attitude will land you lots of tips and promotions. With so many cafes around, you’ll be sure to find one that’ll hire as warm a person as yourself.

Mostly B’s: Tutor! Your academic excellence in high school alone can land you a well-paying job with flexible hours. You probably have already noticed that you’re smarter than all of your lesser peers and now you can monetize that advantage!

Mostly C’s: Hair stylist! You seem like a sadist — you get so much pleasure out of ruining someone else’s day. As a hair stylist, you can get paid to do that! You know that feeling you get after a bad haircut and you’re forced to tell your stylist that you love it? Now you can give that same gut-wrenching feeling to others. Don’t worry, your patrons will tip, even if they’re silently holding back tears.

Mostly D’s: Columnist! Think you’re slick, eh? Fine then, take my job! See if I care! Just so you know, the pay isn’t even remotely decent.

Mostly E’s: BitCoin Miner! This is a sure fire way to earn some moolah. Plus it is a self-made job and you are your own boss. With your computer skills, I’m sure you’ll have virtual fat stacks of cryptocurrency in no time! Or you could try to find a paid programming internship…if you’re a big nerd!

About The Author

Former Senior Staff Writer

Alice Zhao is the former Managing Editor and a senior at Paly and has been part of The Campanile staff since her junior year. She believes that student journalism is be a powerful outlet to bring about real positive change. Her favorite part about being on the newspaper is being able to hear diverse perspectives in order to add dimensions to her articles and way of thinking.

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