MONDAY, FEBRUARY 19TH, 2018

W hen sports are played people get hurt. It is inevitable. Pushing the human body to the limit of physical performance is bound to lead to slip ups and twist ups, and as a result, injuries.

We are accustomed to watching these injuries occur, but what we see less of are the injuries that happen off the field, which is disappointing because oftentimes,  these injuries would be far more fun to watch than most of the gruesome mishaps we see during games. These are some of the injuries that I believe would provide fans with the highest degrees of humorous satisfaction if they were to be watched.

Chris Brown

Throughout his career, infielder Chris Brown was notorious for missing games due to the slightest discomfort.

“He was a contradiction. He was the type of competitor who would throw his body at the ball during a game but would not practice because of the slightest injury.”

Brooks Hust, Brown’s high school coach

Over the course of his career in the Major League Baseball he continued his tendency to miss time for dubious reasons, including a toothache, a thumb injury (which he suffered by punching teammate Marvell Wynne) and an ankle he twisted while walking to the clubhouse after a game.

Out of all the questionable injuries over the course of his  career, the one that takes home the belt as the oddest injury happened in 1987, when he begged to be taken out of the lineup because he slept on his eye funny

Lionel Simmons

Who doesn’t love Nintendo? Its games are intelligent, entertaining and enjoyable. The company also invented the first comprehensive handheld video gaming device: the Nintendo Game Boy.

During his first season in the National Basketball Association, then-Sacramento Kings  small forward Lionel Simmons got his hands on one of these fine pieces of equipment and ended up enjoying it a bit too much. He developed tendonitis in his wrist and forearm from playing and had to miss multiple games. Perhaps that’s why he only came in second for Rookie of the Year.

Mickey Tettleton

Feet are essential parts of the human body. We use them every time we waddle, totter or somnambulate anywhere. Without them, we would be far less mobile than we are today.

That’s why when former Oakland Athletics and Detriot Tigers designated hitter Mickey Tettleton developed a case of athlete’s foot, it was a foregone conclusion he was going to have to go on the disabled list. However, what is less straightforward is how Tettleton developed the athlete’s foot. It all started when he was tying his shoes. That’s also where it ended. He developed the condition by tying his shoes too tightly. So be sure to leave some breathing room when you loop that bunny around the tree.

Brian Anderson

When you want to look nice, nothing beats a crisp, ironed shirt. But when testing if they are hot or not, be sure to remember Arizona Diamondback’s pitcher Brian Anderson’s rule of thumb (one which he derived from personal experience): DON’T USE YOUR FACE.

“I was getting ready to iron a shirt,” Anderson told MLB.com. “You know on the road some irons you plug in and have to turn on; some you plug in and they’re automatically on? There’ve been so many that I plugged in, would wait five minutes, go to use it and it would be one you had to flip on. So this one, I plugged in while watching the Indians play on ‘Sunday Night Baseball.’ I picked up the iron, held it to my face to feel the heat and was trying to look around the corner (of the iron) to watch the game. I just put my cheek right on it. It didn’t take much, and it fried the side of my face. What are you going to do?”

Takeaways

These are the bloopers of the sports world. The unseen moments that would be enjoyed equally, if not more than, the actual game, if only they became available to the public.

About The Author

Managing Editor

Nicholas Melvin has been writing for the Campanile since the second semester of his Sophomore year at Palo Alto High School. When not pursuing galvanizing stories for the Campanile, he enjoys wiping the table with any opponent who dares to challenge him in a game of America's Pastime, or working for the Kansas City Chiefs, where he is employed as a professional laundryman. He has been relentlessly pursuing the art of journalism since the first time his grandpa asked him to bring in the newspaper when he was five years old.

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