MONDAY, DECEMBER 17TH, 2018

Many high school students develop a desire to make gains at some point in their days, making the gym a top destination on campus. 

There are plenty of places that students go to for a great work out.

You can go to our own Paly gym, the YMCA, 24 Hour Fitness or any of the many small gyms scattered throughout Palo Alto.

Whether you are trying to impress someone, make a healthy life choice or just need a way to fill your empty afternoons, there is a certain etiquette that is essential to the gym life.

1.Hit the ellipticals

First, make sure you are hitting the ellipticals for at least half of your time in the gym. 

Ellipticals are basically like running machines, but way easier and make running seem fun because of how ridiculously effortless it is to use them

How else are you going to get an engaging, strenuous cardio workout? Running to and from the gym? Biking there? Absolutely not. 

You have to be on those ellipticals if you are really looking to make waves in the gym and enhance that heart of yours.

2.Check yourself out

The time that you aren’t spending on the ellipticals must be spent standing in front of a mirror, doing absolutely nothing. 

Make sure that when you are in front of the mirror, you follow these exact steps: extend your right arm, then retract it so you can get that solid flex of the tricep AND the bicep in order to admire your own physique. 

Then do the same thing with your left arm. 

After that, it is vital that you lift up the bottom of your shirt to wipe off literally your entire face. 

But be careful not to block your eyes so that you can get a thorough glance at your abs. 

If you aren’t spending at least 25 minutes standing in front of a mirror at the gym, why even bother going?

3.Critique random people

Another absolute necessity when you’re at the gym is to critique people as much as possible when they are working out. 

They’ll love it. If someone is doing push ups and they are only going down to about 100 degrees with their arms, it becomes your moral obligation to make sure that person is going all the way down to 90 degrees with their next push up. 

If you see a person whose form is slightly off when they squat or bench, it becomes your moral obligation to let them know what they are doing wrong in the middle of their squat, right then and there. 

Everyone knows the best kind of advice is the kind no one asks for.

4.Post to social media

Similar to standing in front of the mirror for an unreasonable amount of time, you have to make sure that once you finish your workout, you take as many mirror pictures as possible, post them to as many social media platforms that you can and caption them #getswole. 

When people browse their Instagram feeds, check Snapchat for recent story updates. The number one priority for them is hearing atbout your amazing gym session. Not just that, but a visual as well!

If you aren’t posting pictures of your gains, why even bother making them?

Let’s recap what we learned

Basically, when you go to the gym, you have to be hitting those ellipticals because nothing beats fake running. 

Stand in front of the mirror for a gross amount of time because self-love is the best. 

Critique people you have never spoken to because they’ll love and appreciate you for it. 

And finish off your workout with some social media: let everyone know you were at the gym because everyone cares a lot.

About The Author

Ben van Zyll
Sports Editor

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