WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 2ND, 2020

The Campanile: How would you describe your meteoric rise to fame?

Raj Lele: It’s been pretty crazy. I wasn’t even planning on signing up for InFocus, but Living Skills was all booked out, so I told them to just put me in InFocus.

TC: Do you feel you’re missing out on an opportunity to interact with styrofoam penises?

RL: Not at all. I don’t really want to deal with those in the first place.

TC: Fair enough. What does it feel like to be the most beloved InFocus anchor?

RL: Oh, I didn’t know I had that kind of fame, I just shot up the tenth grade ranks. Getting recognition and validation from the seniors and my peers is something I’d never imagined.

TC: Speaking of getting recognized by seniors, do you expect a lot of Prom askings?

RL: Definitely not, even if I did I don’t think my parents would let me.

TC: Which elementary school lunch snack do you feel best describes you?

RL: Fruit snacks for sure.

TC: Fruity. Why do you say that?

RL: My parents never used to let me have them because they had too much sugar.

TC: So is this you rebelling against the authoritarian regime?

RL: Not really. I just like fruit snacks. Also, the only other option I could think of was Go-Gurt and I never liked Go-Gurt. It’s uncomfortable.

TC: Agreed. Change my life in five words.

RL: Just do it.

TC: I don’t know if you realize this, but that’s only three words.

RL: I like to challenge myself.

TC: Are you a Nike fanboy? A pawn of the corporate machine?

RL: Not really.

TC: You’re a mythical creature for a day. What are you, and what do you do?

RL: Something that eats cats. Cats really piss me off.

TC: Aggressive. What is it about cats that grinds your gears?

RL: My neighbors have cats and they’re always getting all up in my yard.

TC: Do you have any plans to take care of them?

RL: If you mean take care of them as in feeding them then definitely not. If you mean reporting them to animal control then probably.

TC: What mid-tier celebrity would you hire as a personal motivator?

RL: Derek Jeter.

TC: Good answer, but the correct answer was Shia Labeouf. But don’t worry, you’re doing great. Any spring fashion advice as it starts to warm up?

RL: Yeah, why don’t guys start wearing athletic shorts and normal shirts instead of hipster pants and preppy collared shirts?

TC: Asking the hard hitting questions. As a fan of athletic shorts, would you describe yourself as an athlete?

RL: I make sure that I get my daily dose of sports by covering them during InFocus and doing play-by-plays of professional games at home.

TC: I see a power hungry glint in your eye, do you have any plans to stage a coup?

RL: If I could gather enough manpower, I would probably pull an MIT style prank on the school.

TC: Maybe you should advise the senior class, we could use some great minds.

RL: My door is always open.

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