Romance horoscope for March


Romance might blossom for you, but most likely it will not.  There are plenty of ways for you to get over the romantic slump you have fallen into.  Instead of eating alone eat dinner with your family!  Instead of romantically walking along the beach with your bae, walk in the sand with your siblings. Who needs an s.o.?


A partner is just over the horizon for you. Don’t feel too silly about having a gushy date with your new beau.  When your friend asks how your date went, don’t be afraid to brag about how you flew in a hot air balloon over a blue sky.  You basically had a date straight from a romance novel, while they were sitting at home reading “The Notebook.”


With your birthday quickly approaching, make sure to treat yoself! However, nobody needs to know that you’re the one doing all the wonderful deeds for yourself. Send some flowers and chocolates to your workplace to make it seem like you have a secret admirer.


Romance is not in the cards for you this year… Sorry. If you have been a member of loner squad for awhile then you should get used to it.  Not to fear however!  There are so many articles about “How to be the Only Single One in your Friend Group” or “The Stages of Being Single.”


Food will be a great source of comfort for you this year when no potential mates come into your life.  There is always In-N-Out where you can binge on burgers. Don’t forget to take an “artsy” picture of your burger with fries in that red tray for that aesthetic.


You may be at a crossroads. Should I go out or stay in? There is something to be said about trying your hardest, especially if you are looking for a special someone. Sometimes trying isn’t good enough and you need to give up before you embarrass yourself further. There is always next year!


You are used to feeling alone, but don’t worry—nothing is going to change! Consistency is a solid pattern for you, so it’s good that you will continue to be alone for awhile.  Therapists always tell people that a stable, healthy pattern is a good thing in life.


There is nothing wrong with daydreaming about someone special, just make sure that you know that it isn’t real. Everybody knows that the boyfriend from Canada is fake, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dream about him anyways.


You are not liked by many, so inanimate objects may be a good substitute for you. Virgo, you are one to like cuddling; however, you have nobody to cuddle with. Body pillows have become quite popular, so they may be a good replacement.


I hear cats are a good source of comfort for lonely, sad people. Don’t worry though! There are many other animals to comfort you if a cat is too “crazy cat lady.” To have even more satisfaction, you can get a whole bunch of pets and chill with them at home. While you’re at it, why not just rent a zoo? Go big or go home am I right?


Telling your friends that you are going on a romantic trip with your s.o. is obviously a lie, but who needs to know that? Anyway, going with your sister and her family instead is just as romantic, right? What could be more fun than watching your sister’s baby while she goes on a romantic walk with her husband?


Someone special is coming to you soon. For now, curling up on the couch and watching “The Bachelor” is a good option. Better yet, apply to be a bachelor or bachelorette! It can a confidence boost as well as a way to spend all your money on clothes.

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