Studying for a standardized test:
Quite possibly the only three-letter acronyms worse than HIV, the ACT and SAT not only take the life out of you but also require hours and hours of studying. Just like how Bobby Shmurda practiced selling crack since the fifth grade, getting a perfect score requires taking practice tests many months in advance. At this point, the College Board has abused high school students with these exams worse than the school board treated Max McGee.
Studying for a quiz:
Because I do not condone cheating in any form, it is definitely not a good idea to ask the classes before you for the questions on a short quiz. If you’re a good student like me, take the honest route. At the end of the day, quizzes are only worth a small number of points, so you shouldn’t be too worried if you fail. If you really need the grade boost, however, just study while the teacher is passing the quizzes out. The adrenaline rush of seeing a concept for the first time in your notes while cramming during InFocus is out of this world.
Studying for a unit test:
In an alternate reality where I have actual study skills, I would take notes by hand during every lecture and put my laptop away to trade entertainment for good grades. I would probably review my notes every few class periods to adequately prepare myself for the inevitable test. I would even dare to do the homework instead of taking advantage of teachers who merely check it for completion. If you want to be a successful student like me, look no further. The process begins at midnight the eve of the test day, and only ends when the teacher calls ‘pencils down.’ Between combing over the Internet for shortened notes of the textbook, listening to Lil Uzi Vert on repeat to hype myself up and teaching myself what I neglected to learn during class, this study routine works each and every time.
Studying for a final:
Just like the unit test guide, an ideal version of myself would probably take advantage of all the review periods given by teachers instead of taking the opportunity to build farms in Minecraft. I would probably spend the weekend before finals studying at the library, rather than at Stanford playing volleyball with students actually smart enough to attend the school. In reality, the real me doesn’t even have notes to look over for the past year. Instead, I push the stress of finals to the back of my mind for as long as I can. The night before finals, I accept my fate and remember that college isn’t the only option.