The Student News Site of Palo Alto High School

The Campanile

The Campanile

The Campanile

All men should get vasectomies (satire)


Sometimes in life we find ourselves overcomplicating problems when all along the answer sits right in front of us. 

The issue of abortion in this country is a prime example. Ever since Roe v. Wade legalized abortions in the United States in 1973, the U.S. has been divided over the morality and legality of this medical procedure.  

Abortion reached prime media coverage this month, with Politico publishing leaked drafts of a potential Supreme Court ruling showing the court intends to reverse Roe V. Wade and allow states to determine their own abortion laws. 

This comes soon after states including Texas, Oklahoma and Florida placed heavy restrictions on abortion accessibility in addition to implementing harsh penalties for those who have or perform abortions. 

Evidently, Texas, Oklahoma, Florida, and even the US government are looking for methods to reduce the number of abortions in the country. What they fail to see is that the most effective and least harmful solution has been sitting in front of them all along: all men in America should be required to get a vasectomy at the age of 18. 

Now before you tell me this solution is far too intrusive and rash, let me explain how a vasectomy works. A vasectomy is a simple, low-risk procedure where a doctor makes a few simple cuts that cut off the supply of sperm to the semen, making a male incapable of impregnating someone. Vasectomies can be reversible, so the possibility of having children still exists if his partner decides she is ready to start a family.

This form of long-term birth control is the most cost-effective, efficient, and least harmful method available. Compared to most forms of female birth control, vasectomies prevent pregnancies 99% of the time. The only form of female birth control that is as effective as a vasectomy is an IUD implant. However, the insertion of an IUD is considerably more painful and yields more side effects than that vasectomy. Other forms of hormonal birth control such as the Pill or an arm implant can cause serious side effects and are meant only for women.

With the looming potential reversal of Roe V. Wade and the recent actions of Texas, Florida, and Oklahoma, we already know that some states don’t care about bodily autonomy and reproductive rights. If women no longer have the right to choose whether or not to have a child, then neither should men. 

Condoms break, pills are forgotten, IUDs fail; there are all sorts of reasons a pregnancy happens and why pregnancy isn’t wanted, but banning legal abortions won’t stop abortions. In fact, countries where abortions are illegal to have almost the same rate of abortion as countries where it is legal. 

Unlike legal abortions, however, many illegal abortions are done unsafely, often in unsterile environments, drastically increasing the risk to a woman. A vasectomy offers the best chance of protection and will lower abortion rates, both legal and illegal, across the country, appeasing men everywhere. 

In all seriousness, if the topic of this opinion angers you, or in any way feels like a violation of a man’s right to their reproductive health, then understand that if Roe v. Wade is overturned then a far more dangerous reality awaits every woman in America. 

Leave a Comment
More to Discover
Donate to The Campanile

Comments (0)

All The Campanile Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *