In a world full of polarized debates, political arguments, war and disagreements of all kinds, conflict is the basis of growth. Oddly enough, the reaction to the word is generally negative. A study from Chapman University found the word “conflict” triggers more negative reactions than positive ones. As humans, we have a natural instinct to avoid conflict. But what if conflict isn’t as negative as we thought?

Conflict itself isn’t inherently destructive. Often, when people have chosen not to conform to society, conflict has occurred and led to change. These moments cause society to confront hard truths, leading to eventual social growth. Take Rosa Parks for example. She refused to give up her seat on a bus, sparked conflict and awareness of societal flaws. Conflict can be constructive, It just needs to be handled in the correct way.

The idea that conflict is negative stems from emotion guiding our words, rather than seeing it as an opportunity to have an active conversation –– one where both sides listen and understand the other. We listen to rebut, to argue or to prove our point. We speak over each other, or we don’t speak up at all. We either shy away from it or talk to simply talk.

Again, the existence of conflict isn’t harmful itself: it’s the resistance to approaching it with empathy and understanding that is destructive.

As high school students, almost everything we do is to learn. We are making good habits, learning during school, enriching ourselves with activities outside of school, making connections and building relationships. To achieve almost anything, we learn from others. Naturally, as we develop, we are curious and seek collaboration. 

This is how we must approach conflict: be open-minded, show you are actively listening, respond to people’s points and only then add what you want to bring up. Making sure other people feels understood and seen. Make that a priority, and sometimes that means allowing tension. 

Our end goal should be a world where disagreements are not feared but celebrated. Conflict is the beginning of change, and as students, we must learn to properly facilitate discussion and conflict for growth. It doesn’t lead to growth on its own. It must also be carried out the proper way. Conflict isn’t the enemy. Silence is.