Spiritual Strawberry Smoothie Experiences


Ever since my last challenge, I have eagerly refreshed my [email protected] inbox each day awaiting all of the creative ideas my talented readers were sure to send me. And each day I opened my Gmail app to a little sun with a smiling face telling me “You’re all done! Please enjoy your day.” Little did the creators of this sweet looking sun image know, it would be the same smile that haunted my dreams every night. Please help vanquish the smiley sun.

My apologies for my vivid description of my personal terrors. One of my favorite things in the world is a strawberry smoothie. Over the years I have become something of a strawberry smoothie connoisseur. Like almost everyone else, I go through a unique spiritual experience when drinking a strawberry smoothie.

All of this started with my first love: Strawberries Wild Jamba Juice smoothie. When I drink a Strawberries Wild I suddenly find myself standing at 4’7”, rolling down the blacktop on my Heelys. My only concern while drinking this smoothie is what I am going to wear for the Halloween parade. Last year, in 3rd grade, I was Batman, and I needed to step up my game this year if I was going to get a serious amount of candy. Suddenly, a strawberry chunk creeps up the straw and hits my tongue. At that precise moment, I make contact with the slow-baby-bouncies kickball heading my way. Home run, of course. I rate the Strawberries Wild eight childhoods out of nine.

It was about a month or so ago when I found myself in Redwood City’s finest late night establishment: Denny’s. Of course, the first thing I did when perusing the menu was flip to the drinks section to see if they made smoothies. Best decision of my January. When I took the first sip of my carefully crafted beverage, I instantly felt myself slipping away from the elegant restaurant into an artificial world of wonder. I strolled by a waterfall of strawberry-banana goodness cascading into sugar sand as I observed flying strawberries riddle the air. Wildest sugar high of 2015, man. I rate Denny’s unparalleled product 10 high fructose corn syrups out of 12.

Like many other Palo Alto families, us Staigers occasionally indulge in Menlo Park’s Stacks. After the long wait, I always order their Bananarama. And then another one. Suddenly I look down at my body and realize I have become the Pillsbury doughboy. I quickly jump down the strawberry-banana slip-n-slide and land in the fluffy pancake mattress. I eventually fall asleep under a blanket of whipped cream with my head resting on a strawberry pillow. Four pancakes with strawberries on top out of five.

Many smoothies remain unrated so if you have any suggestions, email me. Maybe somebody will this time.

Everyone should send me his or her challenge ideas as well. (Read the first letter of every paragraph)