How to go to bed at a reasonable time

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I am in bed by 9 p.m. on most school nights. I usually don’t sleep until 10 or 10:30 p.m., though, since I spend some quality me-time scrolling through Facebook and spooning my cat. But I always make sure to get at least nine hours of sleep no matter what. I need my beauty sleep, because sleep-deprived Sarah is not a pretty sight.

You might be wondering, how in the world do I do it? I must be taking the easiest course load ever, or I must not have any extracurricular activities. Well, with four APs, a sport and an assortment of other activities, my schedule is by no means easy. Although I do admit I do not have the most budding social life (a.k.a. my social life is nonexistent). Yet all around me, I see and hear people complain about not getting enough sleep because they went to bed at 2 a.m. due to their enormous amounts of work. I don’t doubt that they have a lot of work to do, but I most definitely doubt they spend their time efficiently.

If you enjoy getting less than five hours of sleep, then go ahead and keep doing that, but please keep your tired and cranky attitude away from me, because believe me, I have enough of that on my own even with enough sleep. But if you are one of those people who claims to be overwhelmed and have no choice but to sleep that late, I have compiled an enormous list of two pieces of advice of simple ways to get to bed on time and shut up about not sleeping enough.

1. Shut up

This seems to be a reoccuring theme in this column since it has appeared twice. You and I both know that the main reason why you cannot get work done efficiently is because you will not put your phone down. Stop communicating with people. You are going to see them the next day, and I guarantee you your conversation can wait. I don’t talk to anyone when I work, and if I get a text, I ignore it until I finish working. I’m probably not the most social person to begin with since I generally try to avoid all forms of human contact, but I assure you you will survive if you do not communicate with people while you are supposed to be doing work. News flash: multitasking makes you a slower worker.

2. Get over yourself

Once in a while I spend about half an hour facing the wall, crying internally and clutching my cat when I know I have a lot of work to do. Believe it or not, this wastes a lot of time, so stop. Surprisingly, your workload will not magically get up and throw itself off a cliff if you keep complaining about it. No one cares that you have a lot of work to do because everyone has a lot of work to do. No one will come and save you, so just pull yourself together and start working.

If this exhausting list seems too hard to follow, just refer to number two again. You might not get to bed at 9 p.m., but you will most definitely not be falling asleep at 2 a.m. Sleep is important and you cannot function without enough of it. Plus, sleep is apparently beneficial for growth (vertically), which is obviously evident in my towering 5-foot-2-inch stature.

I guarantee these two pieces of advice will help you get to bed at a reasonable time, and if they don’t, feel free to call me out on it. But do not contact me past 10 p.m. because your messages will most definitely not deliver since my phone will be on airplane mode and I will be fast asleep, spooning my cat.