If I could give advice to my freshman self, I would tell him three things.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Don’t stay in your shell.
- Success is better together.
Coming into freshman year, I was obsessed with hearing seniors’ stories. By then, I had heard of world-class musicians bound for Stanford, math prodigies going to MIT and athletic standouts committed to Duke. When I saw that I didn’t fit in any of those images, it crushed me.
I tried piano. I tried Science Olympiad. I tried soccer. But every time I tried to be like these legendary seniors, I fell short. So there I was as a freshman, feeling defeated and aimless when I should have been ambitious and hungry.
Looking back, that was the start of my first big lesson: Don’t compare yourself to others. At face value, comparison seems harmless. After all, how can measuring myself against others be bad? But the truth is, it keeps you from appreciating your own strengths. Accepting that there will always be someone smarter, stronger or more talented leaves a bitter taste, but it’s necessary. I’ve found that if you don’t accept it, life will eventually force you to, often in ways that will break you down.
I learned this the hard way. During my sophomore year I looked up to a friend of mine from my robotics team who also held a high-ranking ASB position. They encouraged me to run for ASB, and I was excited to follow in their footsteps.
But when I didn’t make the cut, I was devastated. I thought I wasn’t good enough and kept criticizing myself for overstepping. After that, I never ran again. Looking back, the real mistake wasn’t failing — it was obsessing over someone else’s path instead of creating my own. By senior year, I realized you should compare yourself to yourself. I started to ask myself: Am I growing? Am I confident, kinder and more capable than before? This mindset made me more appreciative of my progress and pursue my own path.
The second lesson I learned was to step outside your shell. As a freshman, I wanted only structure and comfort. With three older siblings who succeeded by following the standard path, I felt pressured to do the same: load up on APs and pursue résumé-worthy extracurriculars. But it’s more important to pursue activities that are actually meaningful, not just impressive on paper. Once I embraced that, my life became less stressful and far more enjoyable.
Late into my junior year, I leaned into my passion for social justice and humanitarian work. I discovered that only because I pushed beyond my comfort zone. Paly offers so many amazing opportunities — 40+ clubs, an award-winning and nationally-recognized journalism program and unique courses like glassblowing. But none of it matters unless you’re willing to take a chance and try something new.
The final lesson I learned was that success feels better when it’s shared. At first, I thought success was individual: work hard, get good grades, stay focused. But I didn’t realize how important it is to have people to lean on.
My favorite high school experiences weren’t just my awards or wins. They were late nights with my robotics team, carb-loading with cross country teammates or cramming for physics with friends. These moments have helped me realize how much easier challenges can be when you’re not facing them alone.
Even teachers and mentors matter — in fact, they can be just as important as your friends. When I talk with my graduated friends, they say the same thing: What they remember the most from high school isn’t the grades or accolades but the people they shared those moments with. High school can be overwhelming, and you shouldn’t face it alone.
So if I could talk to my freshman self, I’d keep it simple: Make your own path. Take risks. And don’t do it alone. Those lessons got me through Paly, and they will be something I’ll carry into college and beyond.
