Junior Neva Bapna often recalls her seventh birthday, when she had just moved to a new city in India, leaving behind all her friends. Initially disappointed that she didn’t have anyone to celebrate with, her mood shifted when she walked into the restaurant with her parents and was greeted by all her family friends — an entire group of both parents and children. Everyone flew in to be with Bapna on her birthday.

Bapna said this memory has solidified in her mind as the sweetest thing anyone has done for her. Family friendships, she said, have brought immense value to her life.

“Throughout my life I had a network of support that I knew I could fall back on,” Bapna said. “We went on trips together. We celebrated every holiday and every birthday together. Even now that we’re in different continents, we support one another.”

Because of situations like this, early child development teacher Hilary McDaniel said family friendships are crucial for children.

“Urie Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems model helps us understand why family friendships matter so much in early development,” McDaniel said. “When families are connected, the microsystem around a young child expands. They’re not just learning from their parents at home or their teachers at school; those worlds are talking to each other. That overlap creates consistency, trust and a richer social environment.”

Junior Yotam Rachman said having a family friend at school has helped him connect with diverse groups.

“We’re obviously in different friend groups, so that opens doors to a lot of different friendships that I wouldn’t usually have,” Rachman said. “I’m friends with a lot more people because of my family friends at school.”

And McDaniel said having family friends promotes confidence.

“Students who have family friends tend to engage more confidently in class, connect more easily with teachers and find their footing socially faster than kids who are starting from scratch,” McDaniel said. “High school can be hard. Having a pre-built map of who your people are makes it a lot less overwhelming.”

Bapna agrees and said her family friendships are more intimate than other friendships.

“They’ve seen me at my most vulnerable,” Bapna said. “There’s a sense of openness that you can only find with family members and family friends. That involves getting into fights all the time and treating people truly as though they are your family.” 

Not all family friendships are so close, though. Rachman said before people build close relationships at school, family friendships are more like acquaintances.

“It depends on how close you are with the actual person,” Rachman said. “I didn’t used to be as close to some family friends I have at school, but now that I am closer with them, it’s more like a real friendship. Before it was kind of like an acquaintance.”

For junior Zara Harwell said age or gender differences can make connection with family friends harder.

“I have some decent close friendships on and off campus with my family friends, but if they’re not a girl or the same age as me, it’s hard to connect beyond our parents being friends,” Harwell said. “We kind of have to awkwardly hang out then.”

AP Capstone teacher Lucy Filppu said family friendships can also perpetuate economic-based social capital networks. 

“Family friendships can result in friending bias and lead students to only associate with students of their same socioeconomic status,” Filppu said. “This is an unfortunate reality.  The truth is that when we spread economic connectedness and students break boundaries to form new friendships, everyone prospers. Family formed friendships hold a special place, but students should be making their own friends, moving beyond their comfort zones and spreading social capital.”

Ultimately, Bapna said these relationships are not only about friendships between adolescents, but also inter-generational connections. 

“​​I have people that I can call and who will call me and who will listen to me,” Bapna said. “I also have something constantly to look forward to and that I get to see. Because I have such a large network of adults who care about me, I feel like I can go to them, any of them, for advice.”