Recently, political activist and media personality Charlie Kirk was shot dead while holding an open-mic event advocating for conservative political ideologies at Utah Valley University. 

Love him or hate him, this tragedy reveals a problem rooted deeper than politics: our society’s growing inability to argue and settle conflict without resorting to violence. 

Debate has been defined as a respectful clash of ideas, not a clash of weapons. And right now, America has no shortage of ideological conflict. This makes it even more important for us to find middle ground with our fellow citizens. But, when words fail, some turn to physical violence.

Political violence has become disturbingly common in the U.S. After the 2020 election, rioters stormed the U.S. Capitol. In 2022, 42-year-old David Wayne DePape broke into the home of then-House Speaker Representative Nancy Pelosi, attacking her husband with a hammer. Earlier this year, Minnesota House Speaker Melissa Hortman was shot and killed in her home.

But the truth is political violence proves the failure of argumentation. It’s what happens when we stop knowing how to persuade, how to reason or even how to listen. Shouting at someone to “shut up” or responding with violence isn’t a rebuttal.

In order to prevent future tragedies, we need to learn, or re-learn, how to disagree. To do so, let’s turn back to the basics of argumentation. 

As a high-schooler who has participated in Lincoln-Douglass debate and has dabbled in Parliamentary debate, I’ve got a few lessons that might help (And I can safely tell you that losing an argument in front of a judge hurts much less than losing one with a baseball bat involved).

Step 1: Learn to listen

The worst form of debate is one where, rather than respectfully stating your opinion and listening to your opponents’, participants engage in a constant back-and-forth of useless defensive and one-sided perspectives. Many times, this leads to both parties presenting dueling monologues and interrupting, harsh  shouting matches. 

A real, productive debate occurs when both sides listen to one another, not just in a polite manner, but in an attempt to truly understand the other person’s point of view. But doing so takes practice: I’ve forgotten to listen to my opponent while planning my next refutations countless times. But making a conscious decision to listen slows down the conversation, lowers emotional temperatures and makes debate more comfortable. 

Step 2: Ask questions

Every form of both high school and political debate has some form of questioning period. There’s a good reason why. Questioning dates back to the Classical Period (500 B.C.E – 400 C.E) and Socrates, who promoted the idea of dialect to maximize understanding in debate. 

Solutions are never found before a question is asked. A good answer always clarifies misunderstandings and defines a middle ground. Questions also demonstrate a curiosity and willingness to understand instead of attack.

The epitome of bad questioning is the current state of U.S presidential debates. Not every question needs to be framed as a way to poke holes in opposing arguments. Rather, the intent should be to understand and clarify.

Step 3: Refute ideas, don’t use ad-hominem.

One of the worst habits our society has built is associating ideas with identity. The clash of ideas goes nowhere when it becomes a clash of Facebook insults. A good debate requires us to bring up arguments about an idea, not about an individual.

One of my most memorable debate rounds was discussing the wealth tax, where my opponent called me a “tax evader.” The judge gave me the win, not because my argument was flawless, but because it’s difficult to convince someone that a high school kid is evading the IRS. 

Step 4: Be open-minded

Being open-minded doesn’t require you to drop all your beliefs or adopt bad ones. It just means you are ready to learn something new from your opponent. Even if debates don’t end with resolution, it is important for both sides to take something away from a clash of ideas and understand their opponent’s reasoning.

Participating in high school debate has allowed me to learn so many new things: I’ve learned about politics, critical thinking and crafting a well-thought argument (I’ve even learned how to keep a straight face when I get accused of a felony).

But ultimately, even though the words “debate” and “argument” have two different connotations, they aren’t too different from each other. Yes, both should be about exchanging ideas rather than trying to win a fight. But at the end of the day, it’s better to debate respectfully than resort to violence, and it’s far better for two people to leave unsatisfied than for two people to be hurt.